I caught a FALLING STAR...and burned my hand...

dreamer_012 @ 2005-11-01T02:47:00

2005-11-01T10:50:34Z

We are not being contaminated
We are contaminating.
We mock hypocrisy yet
We are the source of hypocrisy.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________

I live in a society where
Survival of the FITTEST is not Darwinism
It is being a size two with large breasts
If you are not perfect
Perfection is created with a swipe of a credit card
Nature is no longer what Mother Nature has created for us
But what we create with our materialistic needs
Equality is not fairness written in the constitution
Equality is what is earned only by becoming a socialite.
I am not naïve or innocent
I am a hypocrite
I not only contribute to this world but am
Addicted to this world
____________________________________________________________________________________________________

I am my own DIEsease
Procrastination is my symptom
Laziness and Lack of Discipline is my virus
I slowly watch myself Deteriorate
Caused by lack of Determination
I am too indolent to reach for my cure
Yet I fear for my life and the Future
I no longer see.

slowly changing...

2004-07-24T08:27:01Z

For the first time in months, it felt like old times....almost J=(mc)2 was almost reunited in about 3 weeks...we will once again almost be reunited up north, I have butterflies in my stomach, until then club "beat it" will have to wait.

Today I learned not to go to a "soul foods" place expecting to get veggie people food or as mon and jae call it "ovarian" people food....

It felt good seeing everyone again. I just cant understand why everytime we eat together someone starts to get an idea that i like them.

okae time for sleep....for the weekend ahead of me....

tofu festival!! yea, ( yup mon, its food for me tomorrow :) )

sunday: six flags then "sleepover" @ my house..like the good ole days!! yes including "darla"

Man...Donnie...Darla...Carl.....

(friday nite dinners)

my beautiful porsche

2004-01-26T07:35:43Z

ahh...my beautiful porsche...went to la..and saw it...i practically drooled on it...until the owner of the car..gave me a funny look..sorrie..i was just in awe...

finally got my computer fixed!!!

i was so pissed...piece of....grr....toshiba people said that i bought a defect!! stupid frys people..ripped me off..and stole my overseas mini mouse!!! grr.....

heehee grace we must go save the children that are being enslaved in that cold building....

i feel so random today....i can buy half of my porsche with the price of first row seats of the all star game!!

if nebody wins the lotto and feels like buying me a car....then a beautiful silver porsche 911 boxster will do.. or a carrera....

getting so old!!!

2003-12-21T08:58:34Z

wow!! I havent updated in lj since...i dont know:) i cant believe a quarter has already ended..and christmas is almost coming to an end!! so sad.... newhos....today was the first time i went to six flags during the winter time i think.... it was so much fun tho...maybe cause it was so random....it was only sarah and me..but i had so much fun...specially since we thought we were going to sacramento!! heehee...sorrie sarah if i started freaking out on u..hehee newho...we went reallie late..and since the park was closing at 6 we only had four hours to ride everything!! my gosh...four hours is actually a long time!! now i so understand my bro...i remember on my 13th b-day we went to sixflags with his friends and mind...(back then he was 18) but newho..yea and he was complaining that he was old and he couldnt handle the rides nemore..i was like ur only 18..what r u talking bout!! but my gosh..today sarah and i went on like two rides and we were pooped!! even a few years ago..i could go the whole day..and i would get more energized as the time went by..but today all we wanted to do was find rides where we could just sit and relax!!:) newho...it was a lot fun still....specially the drive there (wink wink) haha...wells couldnt fall asleep so just decided to update.. and thought i'd add a lil wish list...:) heehee

christmas list

1. hat box

2. green leather purse by paul frank

3. gift certificates too barnes and nobles/ bed bath and beyond

4. elephant pjs/ nething with elephants

5. nething winnie the pooh!!:)

6. mini puma bag at journeys (not the white one)

7. elephant slippers

8. tiffany's please return too... heart bracelet

9. nething pam got mee!!:)

wish list

1. My PAL to be back!!

3. my beautiful white porshe convertible

4. louis vuitton wallet/matching bag (pre. epi leather)

5. plane ticket to korea (*to visit ahmee*)

6. 1000 daisies

7. if a porshe is too expensive a silver audi will do

depressed

2003-11-25T08:41:42Z

wow...its been so long...
has everyone missed me haha..

first off i would like to apologize to all my friends!!

i have been a horrible friend!!

but everyone has been putting up with my crappy friend personality...

i was so happy today!! i i got mail..and all the way from korea too...yea yea
thank u ahmee..i love ya!!

been so depressed lately...did i already say that...

i think i truly am beginning to like someone...not that jr high/ high school crush stuff....or that girly oh my gosh hes so cute...i mean...just reallie getting know that person...and just falling for who they are....

newaise enough of my rambles..
oh my nickname officially is kool aid...not sumthing im reallie proud of...

but yea...the other day we were playing taboo in our hall..and when the word that had nething to do with alcohol came up..it was like what carolyn was the other day!! i cant believe it!!
newho...i got to go pracice for my tomorrows hall lip sync..hope we win!!!

I caught a falling star...and I burned my hand...

2003-10-20T08:42:50Z

I caught a falling a star... and I burned my hand....

Thats a little how I'm feeling right now...
It was something special...something wonderful...and I wanted it so badly that I didn't stop to realize that too much good is bad for me...

With every good thing...follows a bad...
What goes up must come down...

Why can't we just have pure happiness?
because then we would have to have pure unhappiness? does that even make sense?

What is with the nonsense that we have evil in this world...so there can be good...
this is just BS!!

Just a little more understanding...
Just a little more loving...
Just a little more unselfish...
Just a little more pain for ourselves...
will help stop tears for our loved ones...

The other day I saw a shooting star...
and I wished with all my might...

Fried "whole" zucchinis and "whole" onion rings!!

2003-10-10T11:32:54Z

I always like fried zucchinis and onion rings, of course I like food in general but...

From the beginning I realized that things would never be the same but...

tHiS DifFErENT!! for those of you that tried fried zucchini and onion rings there reallie good and usually bite size...onion rings they usually have at most fastfood places but zucchinis are only at certain places...newhos there reallie good...maybe the average size of these things are maybe the length of a juice box or shorter and the width of half an inch...but wow the things I had here were huge!! they gave me like the whole freakin vegetable!! literally!! and when they asked large or small..good thing i said small...cause wow...large would been liked these specially grown things!! and im so not joking!! the size of the onion rings were like half a onion!! I guess people down here get their moneys worth!! when we got our order the three items we ordered look like it could feed our whole hall..and maybe the whole building!! my gosh it was actually to disgusting to eat!! just a waste of money!!
newho yea that was like a reallie weird experience!! never eating there again!! hehee woopie de doo back to my essay approx four pages..ahh what am i going to do! sp freakie deakie tired!! falling asleep...ahh..!!

procrasination,freshmen15,makin a fool of yourself @ school = college student

2003-10-07T06:06:34Z

You study all night for a class feeling accomplished and proud of yourself. Heading for bed hoping to catch at least an hour of sleep, praying you'll wake up on time the next day. You go to class proud that you read the insane 30pages of nonsense, and what do you know you fall asleep in class!
Back in the dorm room you see that you have another hour or two before class, so you once again read a few pages, grab a lil something to eat, seeing you still have some time left you think maybe I'll take a quick nap set your alarm on your cell phone and catch some z's. You wake up suddenly, thinking your late, see that your right on time. Carrying that new thin bag you bought you head out for class. Setting your phone on vibrate you sit in your seat, put your glases on, ask a few intelligent questions, satisfied that you made a good impression. Halfway through class some stupid students cell phone rings, the professor is staring and no one is turning it off...you then realize that it was the alarm clock on your phone that never went off, you realize you set it an hour late!! mortified you turn the alarm off, there goes that impression, slouch a lil lower in your chair and try to continue the rest of class without being noticed. 10minutes pass, you hear another phone vibrating quite loudly, now the professor is quite annoyed but being the nice person he is pretends to not hear it. everyone is checking there bags but you, the phone is still vibrating and what do you you know, its you once again!! Remember that thin bag, well that thin bag is on the ground, made of cement, with little cell phone chains you once thought were cute. ADD these components together(your in math class by the way) and you have one loud vibrating phone!! with the whole class staring at you!! Well now thats college!!!

so tired!!

2003-10-02T17:58:57Z

I am so tired and a lil grumpy...I have been sleep deprived these past few days!! ahh...and I have been gaining my freshmen 10 what am I to do.

Last night I went to my first Frat party...it was okae..I saw two reallie good looking guys but there were third years...:( I'm not much of a dancer ( actually I cant dance at all) but I rather not dance then be one of those skanky girls that lose there dignity for $100. my goodness.. I admit that most of the girls are pretty and skinny but they looked as if we were at the beach!! newho it didnt help that I had a early morning class today but i guess it was worth it!!

My classes arent that bad except for math I love my phil class and my english class...my professor is reallie funny and that class goes by so fast!!

newho I think Ill go back to bed if I have the enery to climb up.

*I truly dislike chain letter especially the stupid ones!! If I dont send them to u then dont send it to me!!

I aM sO MeLTiNG!!!

2003-09-24T06:10:50Z

My gosh!! what happened to my favorite weather FALL and why has riverside taken it over with the freakin hot summer!! its so hot!! I'm really melting!!! I guess since I'm going to be here for awhile I should have a positive outlook on everything but my gosh the more I try the more I find things wrong!! If at least I could get a decent nites sleep on a decent bed and get meals that I could actually eat I wouldnt complain that much.

To begin with: My bed is literally like touching the ceiling, not only that but climbing up and down that stupid bed is a whole days workout!! not to forget that my room is right next to our hall door so when people forget there keys OVER AND OVER AGAIN!! they are constantly knocking and what do u know who can hear them first and loudest me!! so maybe I can be mean and just leave them out there so they could learn their lesson but that knocking can get really annoying after awhile!! oh yea everytime I want to sit at my desk to study or even go over to get sumthing I freakin bump my head and the bed again!! ( the table is underneath the beds).
but then again at least I dont have annoying roomates like sum peeps I know.

the positives? oh yea, grace and I got our TV today!!! heehee its not exactly luxurious but hey it works we couldnt miss our paradise hotel:) and i have to admit grace im glad i went out to the kickback last nite i had a lot of fun:)

*Pammies I miss you! Is HH okae w/o me heehee* I miss my grammys to much!! it was so sad move in day, my mom and my grams started crying and so did I:( boo hoo and I already miss my homecooked meals!!

dedicated to my best Pammie

2003-09-20T05:09:46Z

To my best!!

First of all, you totally made my day today!!!
Thank you so much!!! Thank u for being there for me no matter what...and thank u for putting up with me for 13years!!! I dont know what I would have done without u. And I wont forget u!! dont worrie:) besides how will i forget u if we talk to eachother everyday:) since i will be able to now *wink*...

"our distance may grow, but never our friendship" heehee i got that from u:)

pammie thanx for always being my bestfriend!!! no person in this world will ever be able to replace u!!!

yelling...quiet voices at Banana....finish it off with Jamba Juice

2003-09-19T06:57:50Z

Wow I spent the last four days at Brea. I can find my way there with my eyes closed now. Who would have known that one leather jacket could cause so much trouble!!! I think I know where every piece of clothing is located at Banana Republic. They have the cutest white jacket/coat heehee altough I dont think Ill be shopping there anytime soon.

My house seems so quiet now that my aunts gone,kind of lonely. Even though she made me mad and annoyed at times, now that shes gone I miss her and wish that I had been nicer to her while she was here. Hmm

I can't believe that Ill be leaving in two days too. I dont know what I'm suppose to feel. Am I ready to be apart from my comfort zone. I'm usually the type of person that doesn't like change but for once I feel as if it will do me good. I have to grow up sooner or later and I guess now is the best time. My room still looks like its been hit by a hurricane. I've realized everytime I went shopping for school, I bought some type of food and now I have like a box full of edibles(mostly chocolate and ramen.
I've been quizing my dad lately of all my favorite things once again mostly food so that when I give him a call he'll know what to bring me:) and now hes starting to tease me, everytime I ask whats my favorite type of chocolate he says vanilla!! and when I ask him whats my favorite restaurant, he answers, "someplace where they sell rabbit food!!" That reminds me now that my aunts gone I wont have to hear "you should eat meat..." "you cant carry that,thats too heavy for you, you don't eat meat" "yum yum don't you want to eat a piece of this..." my gosh!! I really do like her but, I'm so sick and tired of hearing those sentences from people.

(rabbit food is pretty good)*wink*

no lolicup, no home cooked meals, especially no grandma!!!

2003-09-17T06:05:38Z

I only have three more days left,I cant wait until I start college life but that means leaving behind my family,friends and my life for 18years!! For the first time in my life I'm going someplace else. For the first time I'm going to be the new kid in town, I wont have my room anymore or the familar faces and places to fall back on.

When I come home from school, my grandma wont be there waiting for me, asking me if I did well in school and saying she made me my favorite dish. My dad wont be there to joke with me or ask me if I need anything, my mom wont be there to comfort me and tell me everythings okay.

This is going to be the start of a new life, where now I have to take care of myself and make sure everythings done on time. My worries and sleepless nights wont be over if my best friend is still mad at me or the rerun of Friends but of passing finals and and making sure I graduate on time.

Altough i get excited too, when I talk about leaving and packing my grandma starts showing tears,she tries to hide it but I can see it through her. Before I always got into arguments with her but later we would talk as if nothing ever happened, it was like that between us, sometimes she seems more like my mom, since she was the one there for me when my mom went to work. She only seemed strong and never seemed to age, but today as I watched her hold back her tears I've realized how much she has weaken, how fragile she has become, like a young child. My bestfriend,my confidant,my guardian angel,my grandmother how can I leave her behind, now I wonder who will fight with her once a day, who will make her laugh, who will fix the video player for her when she pressed the wrong buttons, and who will be there for me, how can I leave behind half of myself.

dreamer_012 @ 2003-09-08T22:30:00

2003-09-09T05:34:17Z

Wow! my first ever entry in live journal!! I always wanted LJ but no one had a code for me.:(
thanks a bunch pammie!!! ur the best best heehee

wells I dont know how to work this thing but hopefully I'll get the hang of it soon.
my poor xanga...now its just left in the corner, wells i haven't written in there in the longest time but oh wells..heehee